Finding an Aladdin's lamp would normally be cause for celebration and dreams of unimagined riches or fame but not this time...
"I was rooting through some of my favorite dumpsters when I found this ceramic thingy that looked kind of like a weird spittoon or something", recounted unemployed disco DJ, Jerri Doil. "I thought I might be able to get a couple of bucks for it and tried rubbing the crud off it with my sleeve." At first, Doil thought he had blown himself up. But when the smoke cleared, his own personal genie had appeared miraculously. "She looked a little like Barbara Eden", Doil said, gingerly scratching his walnut-sized cranium with the tip of an index finger. The first two of Jerri's three wishes went off without a hitch. His first was to become a classical guitar virtuoso. The next wish was to become irresistably handsome. Trouble came when, without thinking, Jerri blurted out that for his third wish he would like a little - [
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